Sometimes I get really, really, really devastatingly angry.
And it's not because I'm a bad person, or because I don't have the capacity to love, or, and I'm going to write this in bold letters, BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITH SIN.
(Also, it's interesting that sin means without in spanish, so I just want to be really clear that I'm not being exotic here)
But because sometimes the world really blimin winds me up!
I spend a LONG time sometimes trying to be super, super, super nice and polite even when I think that systems, and I want to be clear about this, systems that I am confronted with are MORONIC.
Problem with that is, eventually, I completely bloody crack and use every expletive known to man and woman and get a bit god damn aggressive.
And self righteous, and self absorbed and all the things that I can not stand in human beings.
When all I really want to be saying is:
Put me in the right situation and I am the most demure creature known to man, but believe me you can't be demure all the time.
Someone to love
At this point I would like to say thank you.
To Josie Long, for making me smile at the end of a day of utter, utter rage and frustration.
I still had one of the best nights ever when I saw you live, although I was a little taken aback at you asking me to stop hitting you as a humanitarian act, I just couldn't stand you beating yourself up.
You are exceptional at staying upbeat.
I don't know how you do it, I err distinctly on the depressive side.
(And if anyone offers me happy pills one more time I will definitely scream in their face)
I feel dispondent at the moment too.
And I also feel heart broken.
If I was an idiot I could probably rationally describe heart break, but I am a thinking, feeling, breathing human being and as such I hope to be understood when I say "heart broken".
Heart break is not just about romance, but believe me both the romantic and world loving sides of my heart are torn apart.
I have been trying to fix both sides.