Friday, 21 December 2012

They've won a little bit

I get angry.

Sometimes I get really, really, really devastatingly angry.

And it's not because I'm a bad person, or because I don't have the capacity to love, or, and I'm going to write this in bold letters, BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITH SIN.

(Also, it's interesting that sin means without in spanish, so I just want to be really clear that I'm not being exotic here)

But because sometimes the world really blimin winds me up!

I try

I spend a LONG time sometimes trying to be super, super, super nice and polite even when I think that systems, and I want to be clear about this, systems that I am confronted with are MORONIC.

Problem with that is, eventually, I completely bloody crack and use every expletive known to man and woman and get a bit god damn aggressive.

And self righteous, and self absorbed and all the things that I can not stand in human beings.

When all I really want to be saying is:

Put me in the right situation and I am the most demure creature known to man, but believe me you can't be demure all the time.

Someone to love

At this point I would like to say thank you.

To Josie Long, for making me smile at the end of a day of utter, utter rage and frustration.

I still had one of the best nights ever when I saw you live, although I was a little taken aback at you asking me to stop hitting you as a humanitarian act, I just couldn't stand you beating yourself up.

You are exceptional at staying upbeat.


I don't know how you do it, I err distinctly on the depressive side.

(And if anyone offers me happy pills one more time I will definitely scream in their face)

I feel dispondent at the moment too.

And I also feel heart broken.

If I was an idiot I could probably rationally describe heart break, but I am a thinking, feeling, breathing human being and as such I hope to be understood when I say "heart broken".

Heart break is not just about romance, but believe me both the romantic and world loving sides of my heart are torn apart.

I have been trying to fix both sides.

Monday, 17 December 2012

I hear you


Is chiming with how I'm feeling at the moment.

Physical things have gone missing from my own space at the moment and it's making me see all kinds of red.

Lady in video, if you wish for more credit then please get in touch.

Happy to add your name.

I do not steal material intentionally, if you feel I have tell me.

And I do not take people's things.